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birmingham UK dating

7 Apr

Why the Third Date Matters, and How Not to Screw It Up

Why the Third Date Matters, and How Not to Screw It Up

A lot has been written about the first date. How to dress, how to act, how to pretend that you’re a decent guy. The truth? That’s the easy part. On the first and second dates, you’re still coasting on the initial rush of attraction, the exchange of backstory, the spark of the unknown. Date Three brings something else entirely: reality. And there are many ways to botch it.

Blunder 1: You Serve a Liquid Meal

Getting drinks as your first date is a hard strategy to beat. Neither party is locked into the rigid structure of a sit-down dinner, so, happily, either one of you can bail at your convenience (and you can save a nice chunk of change.)

As a second date, drinks are still acceptable, providing you mix up the venue and show a bit of range.

As a third date, drinks suggest three things: 1) you are cheap; 2) you are boring; 3) you are an alcoholic. By the third date, you should be eating dinner together.

Blunder 2: You Forget Her Stories

The early glow of flirting, kissing, and sexual tension can be a deodorant, of sorts, that covers up a nasty odor: you don’t listen. If, on the first date, she told you charming anecdotes about her job as an indie-theater director, you disqualify yourself by later asking, “So what do you do?”

Ask lots of questions and remember the specific details. And if you don’t care about her indie-theater job or any of her anecdotes, well, this is the time to cut bait. (Before hooking up, not after. You are not a monk, but you are not a douche, either. For more of that, find out your dating douchebag score here)

Blunder 3: You Go Dutch

There is indeed a time in every relationship when couples begin to swap the tab, take turns, buy each other rounds. That time is not now.